I Am from This Time of Covid

I am behind a mask from the time of Covid

When smiles moved from our mouths io to our eyes and faces gave away nothing about intention.

Thieves and pastors, warriors and workers, all became indistinguishable.

I am isolation from the time of Covid,

When I already understood the words: alone, and silence, and lockdown.

My body so thirsty for a drink of a hug and the warmth of a kiss as it cools on my cheek leaving the ghost of its memory.

I am immunity from the time of Covid,

When systems of this fragile body and of this broken down earth trembled with the fear of demise.

Like a thief, disease came by every house turning each handle waiting to find an unlocked door to quietly enter and steal our last breaths.

I am from the hospitals in the time of Covid.

When responders to the calls of those who lost their breath and could not speak came to hang from tubes.

Like infants born too soon incubated and unable to bond to Mother Earth and this human race, on the edge of death with mothers worrying,

Praying for a doctor or a nurse to say everything is going to be okay.

I am the mutation in this time of Covid

An injection cannot fool me for I will keep you behind a mask, isolated, without immunity and in despair.

Don’t be alarmed by me – I am here alongside Darwin to break the frail and leave the fittest in tact.

I am hope – from this time of Covid.

And as hope I never lie and I never die and I can unchain us from the fear, the uncertainty and the mutations.

I will enter your souls and open the locked doors to let the gentle breeze of life inside.

As hope I will come into your hearts, removes your masks and finally I will hold you forever and kiss your cheeks, returning the stolen smiles to your face.

As hope I will never fail you and hold you forever in the warmth of my grace.

Hope Leaves

Hope lives 
In yellow lemons heavy and ripe with the color of all sunshine.
Trees aching with sour bliss
Somehow finding happiness
While wearing the remains
Of lingering acid kisses.
Long before we arrived
All that light found a single
Branch. I look in my hand
Having the entire universe
Right in my palm.
Mystery peels back the misery
Replaced by heat and the scent
Of innocence.
Delighted by impossibility
I come forward to bear witness to pure truth. Belief
In the chemistry, tested and
Drawn from within me - draining
Water now inside Where floats my will.

I beam with healing light
So I’m told, that my Mass, all my blood in a chaliceQuenched a thirst
To pass all these tests.
So I dress like a goddess
Secretly becoming more
But less than something
I knew before. Born
Safely here in a nest
Like a new red Robin
Cracked wide open
Leaving his blue speckled crest.
My shell belies the crisp spring air
That I breathed in and out
Still miraculously
All these tasks unconsciously
Sympathetic. My heart, my lungs
Fill with hope for any cure.

So cut me open and free.
Anonymous files stored away
Alphabetically by a steady hand.
Surgeons can fix anything
Sewing me up from the edge.
And hope renewed, miraculously.
Singly, we file out into a streak
Of white where we become one
Line. Our years walk heel to toe.
My turn will come
Eventually like everyone’s.

Where does the line end
In shreds of curled ribbon
Ripped against a scissors edge
In colors I wouldn’t choose.
Yes, we’re listening
Our ears to the wall Without the next answer
All of us fail and fall.

Yet there’s hope for truth:
Every green springs again
Every blue goes black
Every white wing flies
Even hell finds heaven again.
Our cheeks absorb - All the tears
Our heads defend - All the rain
Our mouths reject - All the words
Our bones crack - All the power
Our skin thins - All the scars
Our hands open - All the love Our wallets empty - All the hope
The gamblers and monks
The grifters and punks
Laugh at the boundaries
Of who you and I were now
Crossed like electrical lines
Connecting us to switch
On our heart lights.
The same power to know my soulExisted before I rode this train: Crossing border-less countries
Aimless and naked
Alone and afraid.
Breaking into my body
Stealing my baggage
A common robber holds up
My bones in steerage.
I’m nobody anymore
But a body to tear at
Until I’m empty of anything
Of value at all.

As a spawn of the dead
A pawn of this life
For what I deplore
And who I defend
Myself against the punch line Bereft of the joke.
It’s no longer funny
But simply strange
Not hearing any laughter.

Climbing up a shaky ladder
To unlock the attic
My life lies packed away
Saved for a future still unknown date
I slice open the boxes
Letting fresh air inside
Wipe away the dust
And watch
My memories fly out like moths
Faded pictures of the past rise up
Ascend above the trees
And into the cloud
Pouring down onto rooftops
Where my hope still resides.

Without I, Imagined

For no more or less than me
I am the sea change
Here to remind those
Unaffected by my will’s anchor
To dance freely
With the ageless breeze
To the Music of long
forgotten melodies.

Harmoniously
Connecting each beat
Outside of your heart stands
A circle connected yet
Stepping in and apart
We dance without rancor
In every color every flavor
The scent of bodies
At play - like the candle’s
flames lick
Crackle and flick fireflies
to tickle the night sky:
The stars laughter
Echo infinite eternity.
For a circle meets everywhere
On every point passes every line
There’s no beginning
And without a place to start
Time achieves nothing.

Dissolving into the ground
around my bare feet
Raise my hands so high
I hold the arms of my
Own shadows
Casting them away
From the sandy shoreline
Into the inky gulf
Polluting the water with
fear - worrying about
Whether fish cry tears
Or weep with the air?

Yet here I sink into the soft Darkened earth
And time, one day, escaped my gravity.
What unseen glue holds
The ocean inside a shell?
Not nails or wires
Hang against the walls of home
Like photographs no longer
There leave a ghost
Where faces once looked back
From window frames
Through panes of glass

I spiral inside
And outside the jetties of the present.
No one finds the truth to see me today.
Too much energy to find the vulnerary
My fragile broken barriers
Save me as I walk achingly
Into the tide now rising up to my chest.

Shifting to my back
I float flat and exposed
Looking down at my feet
Splayed out upon the anatomy table
The length of the sea.
The waves bring me closer
Between the distance to the moon.
Watch my blood flow
As it pours downstream where
Mississippi delta met me with a handshake.
But for sake of safety
Landing on the sandy shoals
Where time erodes and separates the shallows
From the depths where I will drown
And where the blackened muscles grow
Attached to me by overgrown
Beards diving down to a wreck.

In fear and longing (all the same)
The light confides in me
To worry less about the dark Night, guiding all that is lost towards
What dreams come in the sunlight. When
Truth arrives with you and without
A compass to guide the course
By the purple will of force:
The simplicity of freedom.
To draw charts upon insight
Instead of knowledge
Is comforting.
Still hearing the names of the stars in daylight
And imagining what’s unseen:
To stand by such conviction steadies me.
How night settles in too soon on the day
I find my direction in the dark
Through stars that call upon my inner vision.
Yet I was lost.

Allow the body to tend it’s inlets
As light fades too quick -
The long river flowed without a guide
Pulling us along in muddy groves
With the length of a yardstick.
Across my back tales of youth along the banks
And silence provides our course
As we flow now towards the delta
Fingers rise from the underground
Pointing toward the open water.
My tears the sea themselves
And come forth from where
Outer space once lived
By now replace with gravel
Now hidden away in ancient dreams.
Drawn upon some old part of me
Anything possible comes to find
Us awake but still asleep.
Here lying in my darkness
As the constellations blink alive
The blank forgotten horizons
Thats wherein lies eye sight.Fear less pain and “not agains”
Why say “We are born to die,”
When those who came before us
Laugh right at eventide.
Through memories written by hands
Shaky and unsure
The hidden books for
Guidance lived inside me all along.

I write my nervous hands shaking
With the fear of knowing real despair
Not a person alive breaks the silence
All at once waiting and leaving
Staying and going
We cannot cheat ourselves
Out of a journey without end.