Without I, Imagined

For no more or less than me
I am the sea change
Here to remind those
Unaffected by my will’s anchor
To dance freely
With the ageless breeze
To the Music of long
forgotten melodies.

Harmoniously
Connecting each beat
Outside of your heart stands
A circle connected yet
Stepping in and apart
We dance without rancor
In every color every flavor
The scent of bodies
At play - like the candle’s
flames lick
Crackle and flick fireflies
to tickle the night sky:
The stars laughter
Echo infinite eternity.
For a circle meets everywhere
On every point passes every line
There’s no beginning
And without a place to start
Time achieves nothing.

Dissolving into the ground
around my bare feet
Raise my hands so high
I hold the arms of my
Own shadows
Casting them away
From the sandy shoreline
Into the inky gulf
Polluting the water with
fear - worrying about
Whether fish cry tears
Or weep with the air?

Yet here I sink into the soft Darkened earth
And time, one day, escaped my gravity.
What unseen glue holds
The ocean inside a shell?
Not nails or wires
Hang against the walls of home
Like photographs no longer
There leave a ghost
Where faces once looked back
From window frames
Through panes of glass

I spiral inside
And outside the jetties of the present.
No one finds the truth to see me today.
Too much energy to find the vulnerary
My fragile broken barriers
Save me as I walk achingly
Into the tide now rising up to my chest.

Shifting to my back
I float flat and exposed
Looking down at my feet
Splayed out upon the anatomy table
The length of the sea.
The waves bring me closer
Between the distance to the moon.
Watch my blood flow
As it pours downstream where
Mississippi delta met me with a handshake.
But for sake of safety
Landing on the sandy shoals
Where time erodes and separates the shallows
From the depths where I will drown
And where the blackened muscles grow
Attached to me by overgrown
Beards diving down to a wreck.

In fear and longing (all the same)
The light confides in me
To worry less about the dark Night, guiding all that is lost towards
What dreams come in the sunlight. When
Truth arrives with you and without
A compass to guide the course
By the purple will of force:
The simplicity of freedom.
To draw charts upon insight
Instead of knowledge
Is comforting.
Still hearing the names of the stars in daylight
And imagining what’s unseen:
To stand by such conviction steadies me.
How night settles in too soon on the day
I find my direction in the dark
Through stars that call upon my inner vision.
Yet I was lost.

Allow the body to tend it’s inlets
As light fades too quick -
The long river flowed without a guide
Pulling us along in muddy groves
With the length of a yardstick.
Across my back tales of youth along the banks
And silence provides our course
As we flow now towards the delta
Fingers rise from the underground
Pointing toward the open water.
My tears the sea themselves
And come forth from where
Outer space once lived
By now replace with gravel
Now hidden away in ancient dreams.
Drawn upon some old part of me
Anything possible comes to find
Us awake but still asleep.
Here lying in my darkness
As the constellations blink alive
The blank forgotten horizons
Thats wherein lies eye sight.Fear less pain and “not agains”
Why say “We are born to die,”
When those who came before us
Laugh right at eventide.
Through memories written by hands
Shaky and unsure
The hidden books for
Guidance lived inside me all along.

I write my nervous hands shaking
With the fear of knowing real despair
Not a person alive breaks the silence
All at once waiting and leaving
Staying and going
We cannot cheat ourselves
Out of a journey without end.

Sharing responses to the prompt, What do you see; Jen- “Whispers” ©J.E.Goldie – What do you see # 30 – 18 May 2020, Christine Bialczak- What do you …

I wait for her to enter sleep, the door left open to my world. I hear her cries and let wind blow her tears from her dreams into a sudden sun shower. Hope beckons her near me. I’m no longer in her room, her mentor. The light burned too brightly and my time came to follow it up the tunnel to the great unknown. She’s not ready for so much tragedy. Fires swept her away yet she grew back stronger with each spark that exchanged green for black.

This night she came to me as I stood by the white horse fence. I emerged from a barn to see her standing bewildered on the far side of a pond that appeared from nowhere but these things magically transpire like my face, beautiful and young on thus side of the light.

Standing next to her just by thinking it so, she felt my touch and let out the music of pure joy and of the deepest pain at once. Taking her hand I tell her it’s her time to fly and mine had passed away. Then we walked in Dreamtime for hours but minutes later it was done.

I kissed her cheek and told her a secret she won’t recall in words. But she feels it – I can know only that much. It’s all I’m allowed. Of course I left her a piece of silk – the colors of sunsets and sunrises at once. The scarf she lost as a young girl. 16 with nowhere to go but to a home lined with men but not love. She found a way to paint the sky with her heart song, to which I taught her the worlds so long ago.

The scarf blew into her bedroom window, now hanging in the room where she learned to heal those who could not recover but only find comfort in the laying of hands. In laying my hand in hers that night, she was able to wake up and lose her pain so she could continue what began the day she learned the words to the song of her heart.

I whispered,”sing.” And like a phoenix she let me go to be reborn- she fell from the dream like a baby bird from a nest and with the sky colored scarf in her talons she painted the sunrise all on her own.

https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2020/05/18/what-do-you-see-30-18-may-2020/ (For the visually challenged reader, the image shows a young girl standing…

Sharing responses to the prompt, What do you see; Jen- “Whispers” ©J.E.Goldie – What do you see # 30 – 18 May 2020, Christine Bialczak- What do you …

On Fire

Bury me amongst the trees

Where redwoods overlook the sea

From atop a crossed mountain

Where my body will quicken

From flesh into sand.

Underneath the needle-bed

Blanket, the fibers of my hair weave

A way through the wind-filled leaves.

Heat my voice with borrowed sun

Which once kissed my cheeks

Where freckles reached to meet.

You now hear my broken chords

Faintly in the the distance unmoored

Tasting the salted shore. Safely clean

I lay down on a million fine grains of sand

Not feeling myself again I repeat

To no one: I am an empty vessel.

I’ll still wake every morning

Habitually, my hands still sleep

Parting the fitted sheets aways,

Long gone I still reach after you.

I am the water, then the dew

Maturing into a pinguid mist.

The palms clap and sway to

Conduct the band at noon

To play a song of our bequest.

The hour’s imminent.

Time to ride a wicked dream on

A silk weaved carpet twisted

With last night’s ghostly breath.

Come take inventory of my remains

Should the tree mark me no more.

The lumber that’s become of me

Taken over by the shore. I am a house

Now – shelter for a family to whom you

Lost me once again. My soul holds up

The walls now, my legs hammered

Into floorboards, arms encircle

Each bedroom where the dormers rest.

My fingers lace together to build

A painted white front porch,

That’s my hips now a swing

Hung there, under the eaves.

Look up to see my head holds high

A roof; my back’s now the front door

My eyes frame All the windows, my heart beats

In the kitchen. My birds left the

Forest knowing where my mouth now sings

And the woodpecker that lived inside my trunk

Hollowed out my attic in the spring.

Let me stand strong and steady

For at least a hundred years.

By then, long gone, you built your own

And our lives live on, unworldly yet eternally.

Looking down at the rubble of what’s

Left of my body in the demolition heap.

What at all might grow from me who once

You buried underneath a tree?

Let me now burn someone’s hands

Someone lit afire from my plight.

It’s cold outside where I once stood

In the trees and dark of night

And I’ll burn vast and luminous

My spirit gives newborn light.