The Metastatic Identity : I look different inside

Cancer doesn’t look like me outside but inside I look like cancer. #haiku The above photo collage represents me at turning points in my life over my near 54 years. Anyone diagnosed with any kind of cancer, chronic or terminal illness changes at the core of their essence. Such a granular and fundamental shift in… Read More The Metastatic Identity : I look different inside

Cancer, Hope, and Stress: A Home, A Heart, and A Head

My fourth cancerversary was Monday, but I didn’t marry the cancer. Cancer does it’s best to have death come to our wedding and walk me down the aisle by separating me from Craig because of drug resistant depression, and I do not believe in polyamory or open marriages. Even with a 25% chance of living five years past a metastatic breast cancer diagnosis I think I might have a great chance of making it. Hope is a strategy.… Read More Cancer, Hope, and Stress: A Home, A Heart, and A Head

I will pray for you

There’s no cancer Mecca where everyone faces east at a specific time of day to pray. If your words are true, come sit with me and share your prayers. Else, please don’t say you pray as a good way to design an end to a conversation you’d rather not have. If I can handle nearly every night in the hospital since thanksgiving except for this last week, it’s okay not to pray or say you even think about it, but maybe you do. So, my heart says, “leave it alone and don’t look a gift rabbi in the mouth.” But I can’t.… Read More I will pray for you