Postoperate

I live postoperatively. While daylight casts shadows back east, these hours used and reserved positions like reclining for flying and appointments and tests. Before stage 4, a lap formed by sitting posed an imposition on daily routines. Sex and sleeping happen in bed. Lights dimmed or off. Today my husband hugs at my good side. My left side.… Read More Postoperate

Understudy

My time to lie down and die as prescribed, only known as “patient.” From stage left, enter: Sutured together in an unholy friendship. Acquainted by bones held lines closely to my chest. “the role of Physical unrest today played by a courtesan,” A voice wails from behind the curtain velveteen, Dust heavy, too long, bloody… Read More Understudy

In Palliative Care, Comfort Is the Top Priority – NYTimes.com

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/02/16/health/in-palliative-care-comfort-is-the-top-priority.html?_r=1&referer=http%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com

The Great Dump of ’65

Just listen to me – all of you the dirty, the persuaded: Sixties life and look and playboy and poker. Duck-type  ambiguous artifacts, Yet generally, quite innocent. Ladies see shapeliness in clouds. Gents reflected in the recessive genes of ice. To distribute, simply embed sex and death, Then fold a mirror in thirds, finally ispect the shadows. Unnatural… Read More The Great Dump of ’65

Crisis Competition

You loud mouth obnoxious woman! You prompt a scream – You queue my time. You pour gas in the stream, You victimize my crime. With no context – No reason no less, No wonder you press, Upon my body’s guest. I reasoned and grieved. (I killed everyone) I sewed up the sieve, I flew near […]

Read More Crisis Competition

Watch Full Episodes Online of PBS NewsHour on PBS | Cancer immunotherapy has life-saving powers — and limits

http://www.pbs.org/video/2365952106/

Metastatic Cancer: Unemployable and Unapologetic 

Working? Not really. Nothing seems to work. Not me. Not my body. Not my marriage. Desperate and jubilant, isolated and surrounded, frightened and soothed, all on the roller coaster hoping the slow climb up will take forever and not send me screaming on a steep downslope to a dead stop. After two years I feel… Read More Metastatic Cancer: Unemployable and Unapologetic 

Bertrand Russell, Richard Feynman and Me

You’re correct – that’s not a picture of Bertrand Russell who wrote this 10 point view on teaching, it’s my meditation mentor Richard Feynman. In my den framed is the Apple Computer “Think Different” advertising campaign poster with Richard. When I am really in a bind, I look at his photograph and ask, what would… Read More Bertrand Russell, Richard Feynman and Me

How I learned to stop arguing and love this pain

The past 10 days brought what would have been the 76th birthdays of both of my deceased parents and the first year since my mother’s death. My husband started his therapy back up but he’s not keeping with his doctors orders. My stepson who is 18 is on the precipice of failing high school and… Read More How I learned to stop arguing and love this pain

Cantcer

I can’t sir. I am not prone tonight to eat heaving and Sounding out sloppy syllabic English. Sisyphus gave blood I heard yesterday Helping out our cause at the five and dime. When outnumbered run faster, he remarked Wiping his brow and tossing aside a bead from his neck. Colors streaking and bleeding while Ten… Read More Cantcer