NEADed and Blessed

I am NEAD. Yesterday after visiting with my oncologist at Stanford in San Jose and a week of repressed scanziety – I had a PET CT Scan last Wednesday and let’s just say my perky miss Cancer self was a little crabbier than usual. Dr. B entered the new room in the new facility where… Read More NEADed and Blessed

Bertrand Russell, Richard Feynman and Me

You’re correct – that’s not a picture of Bertrand Russell who wrote this 10 point view on teaching, it’s my meditation mentor Richard Feynman. In my den framed is the Apple Computer “Think Different” advertising campaign poster with Richard. When I am really in a bind, I look at his photograph and ask, what would… Read More Bertrand Russell, Richard Feynman and Me

People like me

“People like you…” The nurse practitioner blew her raw red nose into a white, rough hospital-grade tissue. Clearly battling a bad flu, her mouth exposed over the face mask she’d moved beneath her chin, moved for her comfort. Defending a position sitting on a stool with both legs and arms crossed, she spoke at me… Read More People like me

I Judge Myself through Love

  Every morning, in peace and with the new day upon me, I am thankful for receiving all the love in my life. For even the most radical scientists at the end of their physical lives among  us, individually agreed that love makes us human and matters above all else. God, however  you may define… Read More I Judge Myself through Love

Inside Out, Outside In

Pain. Pain of the physical and psychological, and social kinds, became a part of my world as my condition started to define my world more and more. Sometimes, I feel as though I must live with pain, but why? When pizza burns the roof of my mouth, I know the origin of the pain and… Read More Inside Out, Outside In

High Scanxiety

With every rising of the sun, think of your life as just begun… Opening a new palette of eyeshadow by Stila Cosmetics, these two lines, misquoted and attributed to anonymous, I of course look them up in a rapid fire web search. All of one second or less later, the results for Ella Wheeler Wilcox, a… Read More High Scanxiety

Metastatic World Traveler

  I’ve traveled, watched places unfold under me, as shirts from beleaguered cases onto hangers. Many streets left behind and those right in front reveal a tourist’s gift, unspoken surprises. Bread, wine, flowers in paper wound in twine grow more beautiful, As my watch, my time, grows long and further from the terminal. Immediately, rushing… Read More Metastatic World Traveler

Don’t be a Back Seat Driver

My metastatic breast cancer diagnosis in March of 2015 at age 49 did not throttle my world or change it in the ways I’ve read about in blogs and books and in other personal narratives. Instead, my MBC diagnosis changed the way I’d heretofore approached the medical community and the decision process they used to… Read More Don’t be a Back Seat Driver