Caregiving, Wise

NEADed and Blessed

I am NEAD. Yesterday after visiting with my oncologist at Stanford in San Jose and a week of repressed scanziety – I had a PET CT Scan last Wednesday and let’s just say my perky miss Cancer self was a little crabbed than usual. Dr. B entered the new room in the new facility where […]

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Caregiving

My Loves Electric (Not Anymore)

Depression and cancer. The locks to my prison, to which keys do not exist; there’s no cure, and there’s no future with happiness together as a team, the team I really counted on – but as Einstein said not all things that can be counted, should.

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Caregiving, Personal experience

The Longest Goodbye

He called it the longest goodbye. When my husband came to me in the kitchen he looked fore lorn, bright blue eyes spilling clear Caribbean blue waters down the white smooth skin of his cheeks. Waves hitting the sand.  His emotions, usually saved for “some other time,” overwhelmed and weighed heavy on me and pulled […]

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Caregiving, life with cancer, Poetry

Postoperate

I live postoperatively. While daylight casts shadows back east, these hours used and reserved positions like reclining for flying and appointments and tests. Before stage 4, a lap formed by sitting posed an imposition on daily routines. Sex and sleeping happen in bed. Lights dimmed or off. Today my husband hugs at my good side. My left side. […]

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