I recall the cartoon show “Fat Albert” growing up. I dare not speak the name of it’s rape-y creator and eponymous character’s voiceover. Let’s leave it there for now. I do not recall which character had a fear of having his tonsils removed but the sing that week was a catchy, “don’t be scared (of the hospital) you’ll get ice cream!”
Spoiler alert – Fat Albert does get ice cream – we cancer patients, the kind like me who enter the hospital, do not. Unless it’s brought from home in this case which is difficult to do because I live about an hour and 15 minutes away. For those who do remember now you’ve taken up residence with me in the delightful earworm. I’m sorry for that. For those who haven’t look it up on YouTube. You’ll smile a bit.
I’m not smiling very much. I’ve been here in the UC Davis hospital in rainy Northern California since Wednesday. I’ve had another paracentesis and throw up pretty nearly every piece of food my best friend hasn’t brought me from home. He’s an angel.
My husband hasn’t been here once. Too afraid of Covid.
I did take the best shower I feel I’ve ever had in my entire life. The kind where you feel so soft and clean and warmed and just cozy afterwards people even comment on how much better I look.
But this’ll be a short one tonight to update you:
I will have had three paracentesis by the time I leave. I hope so that’s the case anyway. If I only have two, and I haven’t had the third one which would be a self drain that would be a terrible situation because I would have to go home and continue to come back every week or two weeks in pain with vomiting.
Going poop is oh so important.
Friends and those who love you are the most important people in the world I’d say right in line with your doctors. Together they create you’re quality of life and do not forget how important reaching down and pulling a sandwich from a huge bag of your favorite food made just that evening on you’re favorite bread.
I’m holding it down better than only the scrambled eggs I insist on each morning. I’ve lost 40lbs. I’m unable to attend my healing circles global work for two reasons one is a home issue with skippy paranoia my not so beloved husband right now and the other of course is just plain illness.
I’m not due for taxol until the 13th of December making things health wise tentative for me at best. I’ve had a brain MRI. No brain metastasis but to my skull. Proving we know our bodies better than any machine. And don’t you forget it.
I’ll try to update more often but for now I’m a very tired girl. Please forgive my lack of giving you my health update and my mental health update both are equally as important. I love you all for checking in keep checking back and I’ll keep loving you and sending out my good vibes for you as I know you’re doing for me. I’ll let you know when I get out hopefully it’s in the next few days here.