Late

So,
I’m late again. Shopping for paper
Plastic, washing up soaps, for nothing.
Late again because time flew out of hand when
Target bit off my new wristwatch.
Shattered the crystal and this new Target
Teethed on my leather wrist strap.
I contend it’s a collar holding back
The hounds of Hell that bark orders
Commanding I take a seat.
Not that funny because I,
I knew that store like the back of my hand,
Aisles where time stood still for a thousand moments.
Pushing a cherry red plastic shopper
Carefully like a pink or blue pram
I pushed out the time out automatic doors
Like some better women push out a baby.
“Yes, home soon, love you.”
Yet, unlearning the process of
Unknowing the old aisles and where
Rugs and super glue sat waiting.
Now remember there’s new improved products
In the unremembered maze of aisles.
But just like a cancer diagnosis,
The store became everyone’s target.
My site selected for remodeling
By the home office in Minneapolis.
They’re cold and have no better
Thing to do than confuse me
Cause my chemo brain to make the
Staff laugh as I pantomime the words:
“Butter”
“Men’s socks”
“Replacements”
Killing the familiarity of my local layout,
My plans flattened into time.
Radiation, Chemotherapy, and
Surgery seised my time.
And I aged 30 years in one day
Standing in the greeting card aisle
Where the frozen meals once waited
For someone to take them home
And cure them in a bath of microwaves.
Forgetting they once were frozen
Solid.

Ilene

Female. East coast transplant living in the Bay Area of California. Living with Stage IV breast cancer. Married to the coolest guy in the universe who occasionally suffers from serious depression. Love my stepsons, although I never thought I'd have that thankless job - ever! And my best friend Simon is also my cat. How I have survived with stage IV: treatments including chemo and surgery; palliative oncology; tenacity; a dark sense of humor; support groups; and my newly reinvented career as a vintage and antiques maven. Some days I miss the old me who led a well respected and well paid life as a business strategist in high tech. So much for that. I blog to simply share my experiences and my poetic approach with others who have cancer of any kind or with their care givers and those who love them. If one person at the very least finds a little commonality or a friend out in the ether tor a smile, a common nod about this experience, or even a link to assistance, then I have accomplished a small but extraordinarily meaningful goal. Go team.

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