Our Mindful Universal Family 

Days seem like weeks, minutes like days, seconds ticking like long, low faraway chimes. Once in a while we forget about measuring time and live in the moment rather than counting up to another day in the years of our conscious lifetime. Future’s unknown, yesterday’s past, and we cannot do much about those two places: where we’ve gone and where we’re going. But right now – the present – the gift of this very moment as you’re reading my post, is where you are at all times. 

But you’re never as alone nor as lonely as anyone of us who  feels ripped from our past lives by the hands of metastatic cancers.  You do not need to feel this way. I assure you. 

Try to feel your universal family using  mindfulness. Find a quiet place in which you feel safe. Focus only on the breath of now, no worries about the past and no nonsense of trying to change the future, you’ll feel all at once at ease with yourself.  Just breathe. Your breath clean and clear moves in and out of your body. Just as you release the pain with your breath you too can release the chains of the pain of the future. 

You breathe out the the sadness, the hopeless feelings that you could not express openly hidden in the silence only broken by the promise that you only know – reach out to find a hand to hold yours and insure the love and the connections aren’t lost to the continuum of the human race.  In fact, the connection and the deep love your universal family feels for you grows, strengthens, and waits for the time when our energies commingle and we all meet again.

Reading your voices brings me joy and connectedness and hope.  Lately, it seems so many posts conveyed to me a sense of helplessness.  “Helpless” describes the worst feeling possible in our situations.  However, given our current health circumstances – this sword of damocles hanging over our heads in the form of metastatic cancer. 

We feel it differently, all of us do.

No, I don’t know what it’s like to walk in your shoes, I can never totally understand why you feel the way you do. But I do know this -whatever weighs you down so low right now, I swear on my own life, it changes and will pass. The only inevitability in life is change. I was looking through old photos yesterday and realized though I’m physically different, I’ve always had the bright twinkle in my eyes that shine with presence. For a while I lost my shine,  but through mindfulness I’ve found a way to light my pilot again.

Don’t forget in the grand scheme of life, we represent a mere blip on the universal screen. Yet do not despair – we still have much to look forward to and those special people who love you. You’ll persevere – you’ll be a better person for this cancer life you must endure. If you’ve gone dark, find the energy somehow to revive the light that shone so brightly and rise above the madding crowds.

If you’re reading my words, you’re my family. My universally connected family . All of you have shined since the dawn of time. If you need it, may you find within my heart and take from me what I have to offer: safety,  humility, and strength.

Ilene

Female. East coast transplant living in the Bay Area of California. Living with Stage IV breast cancer. Married to the coolest guy in the universe who occasionally suffers from serious depression. Love my stepsons, although I never thought I'd have that thankless job - ever! And my best friend Simon is also my cat. How I have survived with stage IV: treatments including chemo and surgery; palliative oncology; tenacity; a dark sense of humor; support groups; and my newly reinvented career as a vintage and antiques maven. Some days I miss the old me who led a well respected and well paid life as a business strategist in high tech. So much for that. I blog to simply share my experiences and my poetic approach with others who have cancer of any kind or with their care givers and those who love them. If one person at the very least finds a little commonality or a friend out in the ether tor a smile, a common nod about this experience, or even a link to assistance, then I have accomplished a small but extraordinarily meaningful goal. Go team.

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